'Suffering is wanting our reality from being different than it is'- Buddha.
When we start to lean into the idea that 'happiness', 'peace', 'fullfillment' or whatever you want to call it, doesn't lie on the outside... we find refuge and then soon real happiness.
Getting a promotion, going on a romantic date, being on vacation, or buying a new car (or shoes) may provide you with a sense of momentary fulfillment. Picking up a toddler that wants to be hugged makes them joyful. They get disappointed when they are not picked up.
From a young age, we learn to identify happiness with external sources as a result of our upbringing. This is known as object-referral and it derives from your ego-identity, or separate self. For example, we are happy when mommy gives us a hug and are sad when we don't get the toy we want. Getting a promotion, going on a romantic date, being on vacations, or buying a new car (or shoes) are all examples of object-referral happiness. Whilst they may provide you with a sense of momentary fulfillment...
Your ego-identity has a restricted sense of self-worth that is based on external influences.
This type of enjoyment is pleasurable for a short time, but it fades fast. When you rely on other people or things to make you happy, you'll feel unhappy or disappointed when they're taken away.
When our external needs are not met that is when we usually experience suffering, whether that is distress, stress, sadness, pain or even slightly moody or 'on-edge'.
We all share this in common: we want to be 'happy'. Happiness, of course, is an extremely ambitious word. For some it could mean purpose, for some it could be having less stress, Aristotle even had an interesting explanation for happiness, which he called eudaimonia, that was a combination of having a purpose (phronos) and the ability to be virtuous. In Ayurveda, happiness there's a different type of happiness.
Your spirit-identity provides you with happiness for no reason what-so-ever.
This is called Self-Referral.
In the world of our own very being, which is above form and circumstance, there is an everlasting source of enjoyment. This joy stems solely from the knowledge that our inner self, our core nature, is a field of pure consciousness with limitless potential, not the body, ideas, emotions, or personality. When you align your sense of self with your genuine self, you achieve an unbreakable, long-lasting bliss that no one can take away from you. Emotional liberation is a natural byproduct of reconnecting with your actual self.